Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
