How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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