lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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