Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
