College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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