All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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