"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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