I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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