Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
