I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
