honey bunches of taint.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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