You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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