ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
