I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
