He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
