Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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