mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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