This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
