Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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