Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
