Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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