how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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