Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was born a porn star she said
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
