You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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