yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
