I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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