Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
