he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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