I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
