so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
