11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
