Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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