just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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