This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
