you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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