that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
