ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
