I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Hippo gnu deer
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
