u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
