I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
