I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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