Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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