I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize