yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
