I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize