He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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