I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
