May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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