the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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