Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize