Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
