Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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