put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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