jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
