Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
