You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
