Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We got so high we made milksteak
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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