just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
